By: Petra Najafee, Registered Psychotherapist
Summer is a time of great adventure. Often, for children, part of that adventure is going to camp whether it’s day camp or sleep away camp. It’s an exciting time but it can also be anxiety provoking for children and parents alike. So, how to support our children through those anxieties? Here are some tips.
Talk to your children. Ask them what they’re excited about and what they’re nervous about. Some kids will want to talk about it. Others may want to write about it or draw a picture. Others may not want to do any of the above. Their anxieties may come out in off the cuff comments or in acting out in some way. These are your opportunities to open up discussion. There’s no need to suggest things. We don’t want to project our own anxieties onto our children. They’ll come up with their own list. Don’t try to dismiss what they’re anxious about in an effort to make it all go away for them. Don’t try to sugar coat what they’re anxious about either. Let them know that you understand where they’re coming from and can understand why they’re nervous. Being heard and understood goes a long way to knowing they’re not alone in this. But don’t leave it there. Take it to the next step....
Help them come up with ways to handle the things they’re nervous about. Often kids are anxious about things they think they can’t handle on their own, so we need to let them know that they can. They may need help coming up with a plan for making new friends, what to do when they’re missing their family, what to do if they don’t like the food, what to do with their leftovers from lunch, what to do with their dirty clothes, how to ask the camp counsellors for help...the list goes on. Every child’s list of anxieties is going to be different so their plan of action is going to be custom made. It can be helpful to have them think of other times that they have encountered and handled similar situations. You can’t come up with a plan for everything, but if you let your child to do some of the problem solving, then they will know that they can do it when other situations pop up. The important part is to work together to come up with a plan so they can feel empowered to manage the situation. And the bonus is that this might help to alleviate some parental anxieties as well.
You may want to start a gratitude practice with your children. In the evening before bed, take a few minutes to reflect on some things that they were thankful for during the day. For young children it is sometimes easier to frame it as something that they felt good about or happy about during the day. The idea is that even though our day doesn’t go perfectly, there’s almost always something good that happens during the day. This can help them look forward to their upcoming days in a more positive light.
Follow up the discussion with a conversation about what they’re excited about when thinking about camp. If they’re feeling super nervous, they may need a little help with this. Remind them of any activities they’ll be doing that they may enjoy, or of friends that will be going to camp with them. Tell them a funny story from when you went to camp as a kid.
And if you’re feeling a bit anxious about sending your child to camp, that’s understandable. It’s hard to let go. Talk to a friend, a partner, or a professional and come up with your own plan to manage those anxieties. Camp is a great opportunity for a child to develop some independence, capacity, and resiliency. It’s an opportunity to learn how to deal with anxiety and know that they can overcome it.
